


Dream Mattress

by PattRose



Category: Battle Creek (TV)
Genre: Furniture Shopping, Humor, Implied Slash, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-03 06:12:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4090006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PattRose/pseuds/PattRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Russ and Milt go to a mattress store to purchase a new bed and Milt goes out of his way to embarrass Russ at every turn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dream Mattress

Dream Mattress  
By Patt

 

Summary: Russ and Milt go to a mattress store to purchase a new bed and Milt goes out of his way to embarrass Russ at every turn.   
Word Count: 1025  
Warnings: My weird sense of humor.   
Genre: Slash  
Rating: Teen

 

“Hey Milt, I’m going to go and pick out a new mattress and box springs, did you want to go with?” Russ asked.

Milt gave him a look, like he was the dumbest man on earth. “Duh! I have to sleep there. I should help pick it out.”

“Well, get the lead out then. I want to get this done so they can deliver and pickup tomorrow on our day off,” Russ commanded in his high and mighty tone.

“I just know you’re not talking to me like that. Because a man that would be talking to me like that would be getting a twin bed, no need for a king sized bed.”

Russ laughed and said, “I’m sorry. I’m just in a hurry. And I’m not that wild about lying on mattresses on a showroom floor.”

“Apology accepted, man. Now, did you want to take your pillow and blanket and rest on it for a while?” Milt teased.

“See, this is why I don’t want to take you along. You’re going to tease me the entire time. I can already tell you’re in that kind of mood,” Russ stated.

“Oh hush, I’ll be good. Let’s get this show on the road,” Milt said, wearing a huge smile on his sweet angelic face and Russ knew his lover was up to something.

~~~~~

When they got to the stores showroom floor, Russ looked around to see what looked good and comfortable. Milt on the other hand, started lying on the beds, one at a time, yelling, “Russ, come over here and try this one.”

Everyone in the show room looked and Russ was embarrassed. He walked over to Milt and whispered, “Milt, they are all talking about us. Cut it out.”

“Stop listening then, Russ. There is no reason to listen to what they have to say. Now, lie down next to me and tell me this isn’t the most comfy bed you’re ever laid on.”

Russ lay on the opposite side of the bed, as far away from Milt as he could because everyone was still watching them.

“Russ, I’m going to give you two seconds to get over here and lay by me, or I’m leaving and walking home and you can look at twin beds.”

Russ sighed and moved closer to Milt even though he could still hear snickering from the peanut gallery in the store. Russ tried not to think of them at all. He hated to admit it, but Milt was right. The mattress was super comfy. “Milt, you’re right. I love this bed.”

And before Russ had a chance to get ready for Milt next onslaught, Milt moved on top of Russ and whispered, “Is it still comfy?”

Milt was tickled pink when he saw his lover turn beet red. “Milt, come on, everyone is laughing.”

“Tough, this is a big decision. Don’t you want it to be comfy for things we do in the bed? Now relax and tell me how it feels,” Milt ordered.

Russ sighed again and said, “You know what, I think this might be the perfect bed.”

Milt moved off of him and jumped up next to the bed. “Liar! You just don’t want anyone seeing me with you. I’ll wait out in the truck. You shop alone and get whatever you want. Who really gives a rat’s ass?”

Russ was off the bed with lightning speed and caught Milt’s arm as he was heading out the door. “I’m sorry. Come on, we’ll try some more beds. I’ll try and loosen up.”

“That’s more like it, Russ.” Milt was so happy and he glared at the people staring at them and hoped they would all leave the store. “I hope they all think they might get gay cooties and leave,” Milt whispered.

Russ snickered and said, “This one looks super comfy. Let’s try it.”

They lay next to each other for the next five mattresses and on the fifth, Milt said, “I think this might be the one.”

Russ was sick of the salesman on the showroom floor that was staring at them. Russ was sick of people who didn’t understand gay people in general. Russ moved over closer to Milt and kissed his ear. Then he turned Milt on his side and spooned up to him.

Milt started laughing and said, “Is it comfortable that way, Russ? Or are you just trying to piss people off?”

“Both, Milt. I love this bed. This is it. And I love the feel of you in this bed in my arms. We found our bed,” Russ announced.

“Yay, let’s go order it and pay for it and go home and finish this business you started,” Milt said, smiling evilly.

They wrote down the model number and went up to order it. The man that was staring at them walked up to take their order and Russ said, “No, I want that woman over there to take my order.” He pointed to a woman that seemed very pleased to have made a sale without even trying.

“Yes, my name is Mary Ann, can I help you?”

Russ told her the model number and she set up the delivery for the next day and then Russ paid for the mattress and box spring and they walked out of the store, happy men.

Milt got into the truck and said, “I have to tell you that was a big turn on having you spoon up to me in the store. That took nerve; Russ and I know it was hard. But I loved it. Thank you.”

“I love you, Milt and never should have let people get to me like that. As soon as I stopped listening to them, I was fine. I don’t care what they said. All I know is how much you mean to me. They mean nothing to me.”

“I love you, Russ. And if you get us home quick like, I’ll show you how much.”

Milt laughed when Russ put the lights and siren on. They were both going to get lucky.

The end


End file.
